WEED OUT
Aug 23, 2006
October 23, 2005. 3:00 AM. I can't stop my tears from flowing and my cheeks were soaking wet. My heart was aching and it felt like I was stabbed right in the middle of my chest. The pain was unbearable, but I told myself, "Jac, it's not the end of the world. Things would definitely change, but you have to move on. You have to be strong! Relationships end, and so do FRIENDSHIPS..." This day, I swore to myself that I no longer have a BESTFRIEND...
Yesterday I was browsing through a Cosmo Mag, when I came across an article about trimming down your friends entitled "Clear Out Your Friend Clutter". Memories of that hurtful day of October came flashing back in my mind. After reading the article, I knew I made the right decision, I still have NO REGRETS.
People change, and as we journey through life, we MATURE. At this point of my life, I'm starting to weed out my friends. Like what the article stated "Our youth is about accumulating friends, but as we get older we need to weed." I'll not sacrifice the quality of friendship over the quantity, and it doesn't matter if I can count my friends on one hand, as long as their TRUE and LOYAL to me.
The day I ended my friendship with my bestfriend, marked the day my eyes were opened to the fact that CLOSE friends come and go, not just your acquiantances. It's hard to maintain a friendship, but letting go is even harder. When you remember the times you shared together, the places you've been to, and the ups and downs you've been through, a sudden gush of sadness would come oozing from within. It hurts... but you have to bear it... I HAVE TO BEAR IT.
The look on her face when I confronted her about the reason I got hurt, made my decision FINAL. She's more irritated than sorry and it seems she doesn't care about my feelings. I thought if I'd talk to her about it, it would change my decision, but it didn't. It made the matter worst. I was hurt even more... Like what the author of the article stated "her death stare was a sure sign that this was one friendship to leave behind". Thus, I started ignoring her for good, cutting all the bonds and communication, which resulted to a lot of unanswered text messages. She said she misses me... but if she really treasure our friendship, why did she acted that way? Why did she make face on me, when I told her I was hurt? If she doesn't care about my feelings, why should I continue being friends with her? If I'm her second priority over some of her friends, why should I make her my first? If you are taken for granted, why would you consider her a bestfriend? Am I too harsh or am I just being TRUE? I guess I'm just being true to myself. If the friendship needs to end, it has to end... and I HAVE TO LET GO.
According to the article there are five type of friends that you should hang on to. First is YOUR CHALLENGER, who is strong, independent woman who isn't afraid to speak her mind. You can benefit from the friction of your friendship, because it makes you both raise your game. Second is YOUR TOUCHSTONE. This is a friend who's always been there. You've gone through everything together and there's no pretending to be cool around her. You knew her when you were in nappies and you'll draw your pension with her too. Third is YOUR LISTENER, who is wordly and wise. Being able to listen and give advice is a rare talent, so we have to treasure it. The Noughties are all about greater emotional intelligence -- that means the friendship is based on feelings, honesty and integrity. Fourth is YOUR PEP-ME-UP PAL. She's the one who, after the break-up, will lend you a dress and drag you out the door. She's more than just a party girl and her enthusiasm and optimism are contagious, even when you both have stretch marks and screaming toddlers. Fifth is YOUR MANSLATOR. He's the one who can read your boyfriend's subtitles and say 'Ah, but what he's really saying is... '. Men might be from Mars and women from Venus, but he is the interplanetary messenger. You can only count these friends on one hand, but nonetheless they are the only friends you'll need. I'm not saying that you should limit your friends to FIVE, but these friends should be your must-haves.
Somebody told me that it's better not to have a sole bestfriend, because having one, demands a lot of expectations. If one of those expectations was not met, frustration follows, then you get hurt. I think she's right on that. I have a lot of girl friends who don't demand or expect too much from me, and vice versa, but the friendship is a lot more than ordinary. A friendship with less expectations, but with lots of love, honesty and loyalty is better than having a BESTFRIEND with lots of expectations, but could lead to a lot of frustrations.
At the age of 15, I had a bestfriend... and at the age of 22, the friendship ended. But in fairness to her, I had some great times during those seven years of friendship. I thought 7 is my lucky number, but not on this one.
I changed... my heart changed... but I'm proud to be STRONGER.
October 23, 2005. 3:00 AM. I can't stop my tears from flowing and my cheeks were soaking wet. My heart was aching and it felt like I was stabbed right in the middle of my chest. The pain was unbearable, but I told myself, "Jac, it's not the end of the world. Things would definitely change, but you have to move on. You have to be strong! Relationships end, and so do FRIENDSHIPS..." This day, I swore to myself that I no longer have a BESTFRIEND...
Yesterday I was browsing through a Cosmo Mag, when I came across an article about trimming down your friends entitled "Clear Out Your Friend Clutter". Memories of that hurtful day of October came flashing back in my mind. After reading the article, I knew I made the right decision, I still have NO REGRETS.
People change, and as we journey through life, we MATURE. At this point of my life, I'm starting to weed out my friends. Like what the article stated "Our youth is about accumulating friends, but as we get older we need to weed." I'll not sacrifice the quality of friendship over the quantity, and it doesn't matter if I can count my friends on one hand, as long as their TRUE and LOYAL to me.
The day I ended my friendship with my bestfriend, marked the day my eyes were opened to the fact that CLOSE friends come and go, not just your acquiantances. It's hard to maintain a friendship, but letting go is even harder. When you remember the times you shared together, the places you've been to, and the ups and downs you've been through, a sudden gush of sadness would come oozing from within. It hurts... but you have to bear it... I HAVE TO BEAR IT.
The look on her face when I confronted her about the reason I got hurt, made my decision FINAL. She's more irritated than sorry and it seems she doesn't care about my feelings. I thought if I'd talk to her about it, it would change my decision, but it didn't. It made the matter worst. I was hurt even more... Like what the author of the article stated "her death stare was a sure sign that this was one friendship to leave behind". Thus, I started ignoring her for good, cutting all the bonds and communication, which resulted to a lot of unanswered text messages. She said she misses me... but if she really treasure our friendship, why did she acted that way? Why did she make face on me, when I told her I was hurt? If she doesn't care about my feelings, why should I continue being friends with her? If I'm her second priority over some of her friends, why should I make her my first? If you are taken for granted, why would you consider her a bestfriend? Am I too harsh or am I just being TRUE? I guess I'm just being true to myself. If the friendship needs to end, it has to end... and I HAVE TO LET GO.
According to the article there are five type of friends that you should hang on to. First is YOUR CHALLENGER, who is strong, independent woman who isn't afraid to speak her mind. You can benefit from the friction of your friendship, because it makes you both raise your game. Second is YOUR TOUCHSTONE. This is a friend who's always been there. You've gone through everything together and there's no pretending to be cool around her. You knew her when you were in nappies and you'll draw your pension with her too. Third is YOUR LISTENER, who is wordly and wise. Being able to listen and give advice is a rare talent, so we have to treasure it. The Noughties are all about greater emotional intelligence -- that means the friendship is based on feelings, honesty and integrity. Fourth is YOUR PEP-ME-UP PAL. She's the one who, after the break-up, will lend you a dress and drag you out the door. She's more than just a party girl and her enthusiasm and optimism are contagious, even when you both have stretch marks and screaming toddlers. Fifth is YOUR MANSLATOR. He's the one who can read your boyfriend's subtitles and say 'Ah, but what he's really saying is... '. Men might be from Mars and women from Venus, but he is the interplanetary messenger. You can only count these friends on one hand, but nonetheless they are the only friends you'll need. I'm not saying that you should limit your friends to FIVE, but these friends should be your must-haves.
Somebody told me that it's better not to have a sole bestfriend, because having one, demands a lot of expectations. If one of those expectations was not met, frustration follows, then you get hurt. I think she's right on that. I have a lot of girl friends who don't demand or expect too much from me, and vice versa, but the friendship is a lot more than ordinary. A friendship with less expectations, but with lots of love, honesty and loyalty is better than having a BESTFRIEND with lots of expectations, but could lead to a lot of frustrations.
At the age of 15, I had a bestfriend... and at the age of 22, the friendship ended. But in fairness to her, I had some great times during those seven years of friendship. I thought 7 is my lucky number, but not on this one.
I changed... my heart changed... but I'm proud to be STRONGER.
